i wished to be pretty a few days ago. (this is a really bad sentence to start an entry with)
i have something to say to 'barbie': fuck you and your rich half-assed pretty face!
anyway i'm fucking sick of living up to people's expectations and certain people (who like to shove demoralising words in my face like monks chanting mantra). everyone knows i have the potential to become the country's top lawyer, doctor, or oh wow, maybe even both at the same time! then i'll get married to a rich good-hearted man, settle down having kids and look after them and teach them the utmost important values of life till i'm old and wither away and be 'just another one of those that passed'. well eat my dirt. i want to do what i like doing, be happy every minute of the way and not be miserable trying to live my life just for others to be pleased. of course we all know the bitter truth that it will never happen (unless i put up a fight, ditch the world behind me and live in isolation) so i can sit here and laugh bitterly and feed on chocolates to make me a happier person. this is why i give up; i am so not your pathetic 16-year-old MWAHA (insert pathetic hollow laugh here).
i would really like to be somewhere else. then again knowing myself well enough, i'm yours and everyone else's sunshine! 8D MY FOOT. i know i'll never be contented.
i was thinking this morning--okay no make that afternoon because i'm never awake early enough for it to be morning--about stuff. i may not have enough intellect like esti to argue about the existence of a BANANA, but i was getting upset over the fact that maybe, just maybe, what if things that do matter to me are only but, surreal. i can't prove their existence. what if let's say all the contacts and experiences i've had with X were not first-hand, not direct, and that another, Y, has never really been with me physically. never standing in the same space. what is more depressing is that you can also say that Y has never been in the same time as me either. like Y would be living a life similar to mine but kind of like in a different dimension? what if Z was in a different timezone, and all contacts and experiences with Z were through some medium, like media? they would seem virtually stimulated for a purpose. i WOULD find it hard to convince myself that Z could be called real anymore, if ever one day i lose my logical reasoning. Z disappearance would also seem, unreal. like something somewhere just fizzled and dissipated into thin atomic particles and nothing would really matter--life still goes on because essential no form of direct contact lessens the reality of its existence and maybe, i could even lock Z under the 'hallucinations' or 'dreams' or 'subconscious' compartment of my brain and i could REALLY convince myself otherwise about the existence of X, Y or Z. it would be a good tactic to forget things easily. musings this morning could only come from someone like me who has little to zero faith (:
then again i know i do not make a single sense anymore because it's waaaaaay late in the night and i should tucked under the covers now instead of letting my mind run wild on caffeine.
i don't like my copper hair. okay, not that it is VERY HORRIBLE looking, but i wanted it more gold than red :\ i also need a haircut.
note to self: pre-order Neo genesis vol. 19 asap!!!11!1!ELEVENONEONE
^it's of utmost importance so hmm, i'll get my ass down to kino on thursday. fuck if i don't get it be prepared for some MIA-here bitchiness! XDDDD
edit:
ESCOOZE ME, BUT I HAS SUMTHIN 2 SAE.
NO MOTHAFUCKING WAIIIIIIIIII~~~!!!11!1!1!!ELEVENONEONE!@#$%^&* ASDF DSGSDGAS DGDGFSAD GAASD GSDGD DFTHDFHFGF
gazette has new profile pictures on their official site and their offical myspace!
click to see the win!i liked their stacked rubbish album outfits more actually because they look more uniformed and like a band even though some people say that they look more like gangstas and pimps rather than rockstars
(i still prefer reita's black stacked rubbish outfit to the current one :\ HIS JACKET!) but GLITTER IZ BE FYNE TOO!!1!1 HOLY SHIT URUHA CUT HIS HAIR SO SHORT IT LOOKS LIKE REITA'S O_O BUT J00 KNOW WHUT PPLZ?! I MIGHT JUST CUT MY HAIR LIKE HIS THOUGH I'M NOT FOND OF SHORT HAIR BUT THAT LOOKS JUST AWESOMEEEEEE. i've never seen uruha with hair that short apart from filth in the beauty era where i suspect his hairdresser actually accidentally did more than just a 'trim' and in zetsu era where uruha's hair was pinned up. reita and aoi has outfits looking similar to the outfits they had before but it doesn't matter. ruki dyes his hair too much i swear it's like one month three times or somewhere to that degree. BUT HOLY SHIAT DEY BE STILL LUKIN' SO AFUCKINGMAZING AND FLY!
*dies and revives and cries and flails and dies again*
